I’ve been on a lot of weekends away from home. A lot of these have been with kid’s sports and more than my share of soccer tournaments. Whenever I went to a soccer tournament, I felt like I entered ‘soccer world’. For me, soccer world was a place where I spent all my time watching soccer. When I ate, I ate with soccer parents. When I drove, I was driving to a soccer game. When I slept, it was in the same hotel with the soccer team. You get the idea. At the end of the weekend, I always had a re-entry experience into the real world. I realized that soccer world was totally artificial and had very little to do with the real world.

I had the opposite experience this weekend. On retreat, we shared stories of tough times. We heard difficult stories – one person battling cancer, another who lost her best friends to cancer, another recalling how upset he was when his child was sick… Teens who were bullied, teens who regretted their past use of drugs, teens battling depression… And we shared stories of finding God – in prayer, in music, in scripture, in the Sacraments, in close friends and in near strangers. It was awesome!

When I went to work on Monday, instead of feeling like I was re-entering the real world, I felt like I had left the real world behind on retreat. Quite a contrast to soccer world.

My challenge – to integrate this real world more deeply into my daily life… More on the retreat in the future.

One reason is that they can be very memorable. I am much more likely to remember your story than I am to remember you telling me “God will strengthen you.” Another is that these stories can lead us to God. At this retreat, we are blessed to have two generations of stories. One young woman shared her story a few years back on a retreat and she inspired one of the teens to turn her life around. Both will be at the retreat, both sharing their stories.

Another reason that I value these stories is that they help me to see God in others more clearly. I understand better the challenges or opportunities that others are facing and how God is at work in their lives. Finally, these stories create a depth of experience and an intimacy that is hard to find in daily life. When we share our stories with others, we invite them to know our deepest selves. What an incredible gift!

This post wouldn’t be complete without a mention of my sister Lynn who so kindly shared her story with me. Her love of scripture, service and praise and her faith in God inspire me! Thanks Lynn!

Many of the readings this week have been about faith. The parable of the mustard seed (Mk 4:31-32) – [The kingdom of God].. is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown into the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth. But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants …” I take comfort in this passage. When our faith is sown, it isn’t visible. It is growing in very important ways below the surface. When it finally breaks into the open, it can be fragile. But it slowly yet surely grows over days/months/years.

I pray every day that my kids will know God’s loving touch. And I hope they are praying for me too. Because in some ways my worries reflect my own lack of faith in God – that He will make his presence known to all of us in due time. I feel God talking to me in one of today’s verses: Mk 4:40 – “Do you not yet have faith?”

Nothing terrible has happened to her. She has a loving family, she has her health, she has good friends and gets good grades. Her story is extraordinary in that it is ‘ordinary’. One thing she is really good at is putting herself in situations where she experiences God’s love. She chooses her schools and friends wisely, she volunteers, she offers to lead other teens on retreats, she is in our youth group, she worships regularly….

I’m a much slower learner. I’ve had to be hit over the head to find God in crises and dififculties. I am inspired by her motivation to find God in ordinary life. And I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of her story on retreat.

In 2 hours, I experience God’s word, His peace, and the beauty of His creation. Some days I laugh out loud with the joy that fills my world when I am open to it. My prayer of thanks to Him!

A mom & daughter were together at Mass today. The daughter must have been a year or two old. She started out in her mother’s arms but gradually got more bold. By the middle of Mass, she was wandering around the church carrying a song book. In the most solemn part of Mass, she toddled over to an elderly gentleman and put the song book on his knee. I expected him to put the book aside and ignore the little girl. Instead, he patiently turned the pages of the book to the little girl’s delight. I was touched by his kind-hearted gesture to the little girl when he ‘should’ have been paying attention. I was touched by the little girl’s trust and desire to make connections with others.  I walked out with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

In our teen group, we talked about this general topic a while back and one of the girls suggested that we are called to be ministers of joy! For me today, the old man and the little girl were both ministers of joy.  May you find joy in the New Year!

The young woman I mentioned earlier pointed out that one thing all of these experiences have in common is that they can point us to the God-shaped hole in our hearts.

Early versions of this phrase may come from St. Augustine who said: “Lord, you have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in you.” (Confessions 1.1.1.).  Blaise Paschal much later said: “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace?  This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and unchangeable object; in other words by God himself.” (Pensees 10.148)

This restlessness or sense of our abyss can cause us to seek God or to seek less positive remedies. Our restlessness and emptiness can be made especially obvious to us in times of crisis and difficulty.

When Jesus was born, the angels announced: “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:14) During this Christmas season, I pray that each of us will experience Jesus’ presence. May our restlessness serve to turn our hearts toward Him. And may we all find His peace. Merry Christmas!

I love that story. I hope some Cheerios make it to my mouth along the way, but in any case, I can commit to being persistent in trying to find my way to God!

This week, I thought more about the full post. It also seems to me that I should be able to accept judgment even if the person does not really care about me, or if I am judged indirectly, in public, with an overwhelming amount of input t once.  I’m not saying I could actually do this. But I am pointing out that my pride would be what’s standing in the way of my hearing this feedback. And that’s not how I want to live my life.

So in reflecting on this more, I think that the ‘rules’ I shared last time are very good guidelines for me to consider when offering feedback to others. But in terms of accepting feedback myself, I will challenge myself to be more open to all types of input and not let my pride stand in my way. I know this won’t be easy for me.

In our culture, we think of judging as a bad thing. “Don’t judge me” we say when we do something we are ashamed of :v). And if I call someone judgmental, I have insulted them. Jesus teaches against judging when He said in Mt 7:5 “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” But Jesus also teaches of a final judgment when “these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” And Rev 3:19 says: “Those whom I love, I reprove and chastise. Be earnest, therefore and repent.”

What to make of all of this? I see the metaphor of an athletic coach in all of this. I would never tell a coach of mine “Don’t judge me”. I WANT the coach to judge me. If you are my coach, I want you to tell me what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong. I also want you to tell me what I”m doing wrong in a certain way. Specifically:
* First I want to be convinced that you really care about me. I’d like to be reasonably sure that your judgment is meant in my best interest.
- Please judge me in private. I’d rather not be called on the carpet in front of many people and humiliated.
- Please judge me directly. Don’t judge me to other people and make me find out what was said through the rumor mill.
- Please judge me in small doses that are suitable to my level of skill at the time.

So please judge me! Coach me to be a better person. Just do it lovingly, in private, directly and in small doses please!